This always boost up my mood every start of the year π
My beloved CPF interests.
This time, I crossed 5 digits interest, clocking in $11,291.01 for 2023. Back last year, I was receiving $9k+ interest.
I will be topping up $2,085.62 max out my MA and for tax relief purposes. I didnt hit BHS as at 31 Dec 2023 as my MA was deducted for my surgery.
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Last night, I slept early and didn't do countdown. My hubby lie on the bed with me a while and hugged me. He wished that in 2024, I will be happier and able to achieve my goals, whatever that may be. He said he wished I will go back to my young happy self years ago, and the depressed me will go away. I cried. I recognised that I've become unhappy and unsettled easily, especially in the past few years.
I don't know if my younger me was really happy, but I do know as I grow older, negativity has been clouding me.
He told me to cry out and let out my concerns. I wasn't able to articulate what's making me depressed. I just wasn't happy with my life these few years. The inability to have a child is definitely one of the factors. I told him, I don't know what's the meaning of my life. What am I living for. In my mind, I have also been questioning if having a child eradicates these issues. It may not.
My husband told me many people live without much meaning in life. Look at our parents. They live one day at a time, they don't talk about meaning, purpose and just live each day. I get his point...yet, not.
Anyway, I wanted to type these out that by the strike of 12, I could hear fireworks but was too tired to wake up to watch it. The tears shed earlier tire my eyes but I was glad I let it out.
This morning, I woke up more positive.
2024 will be good to me.
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