It's the time of the month...the ladies would understand.
Every month, I'd get bad cramps which makes me breathless, giddy and helpless. It's during such periods of sickness that I have morbid thoughts - what if I drop dead and die? How can I avoid such pains? Why do I have to suffer like this? Can I just remove my womb?
It's also during such times that I pause to think about my health. I start to think I need to exercise more, eat better, treat myself better, and take care of my health. When I'm my usual self, I don't bother much with such thoughts.
Anyway, for the first time in my 30+ years of life, I've started acupuncture...in a bid to get pregnant. I wonder how long and how much more I have to spend.
Getting pregnant is not an easy task for me. After the TCM consultation, I know I've a lot of issues to tackle. I've poor sleep, poor appetite, frequent back aches, frequent cramps, cold feet and arms, poor blood circulation, poor digestion. All these didn't matter, I just let it pass for many years. But to the physician, these could be why I have issues conceiving.
Which makes me think - I should prioritise fixing my health first and not bother about the outcome.
The acupuncturist is aiming to treat my poor sleep, back aches and cramps first. But despite my 3rd weekly visit, I still haven't seen any improvements. Worse, my blood flow became low. I know. I am impatient.
I requested for no medicines. I cited I've poor digestion and I've taken TCM medicine 1 year plus back for a few months to no effect. The physician didn't force me but said it will be best to couple treatment with medicines. I must admit I asked for no medicines because of cost. It cost $12/day for those powder. Already the acupuncture sets me at $100+ per visit. But, I will oblige soon. The physician told me and my hub to try taking 1 week of medicine after period to help. I may also have to oblige with going for twice/week acupuncture.
At times, I think there's something wrong with me. Sometimes I bear spending the money, sometimes I don't. I readily purchased supplements like ubiquinol, vitamin d3, omega 3, probiotics after reading that it helps with fertility. Especially that ubiquinol which cost 50 cents per pill. Though, after taking it for months, there's no results.
I've been buying herbal soup to brew after period. Each pack cost $6 and I was told to drink it for 3 days. 1 new pack for each day. That's $18.
I was told to brew red dates tea to drink every day after period. I'll estimate it at 50cents/day.
Yet it took me some time to go for acupuncture because it's not cheap. I decided to go for it since this is one method I've not tried.
For my own reference, it seems that I need to set aside ~$600/month or close to $1k if I go for acupuncture twice a week.
It may seem stupid to calculate these, but I needed a sense of how much I am investing in my health. I suppose spending on my health is better than buying a new iphone 14, which I'm holding back from.
The good thing is I am still getting my paycheck. But the layoff news are getting closer to home and I'm getting jittery. I have been feeling bored at work and if layoff comes, I guess I'm be one of the first because I'm under the radar. I hate show-time with my bosses.
I am casually browsing for jobs but I don't see any roles and companies I like. Big tech is a no-no (see meta, google, shopee), banking may soon be affected (see goldman sachs, credit suisse), govt sector is too rigid for me (friends wanna get out to pte sector but they have difficulties transiting out)...the list goes on. I am facing mid-life career crisis because I don't know what to do. I dislike working, and probably belongs to the "quiet quitting" batch that people scorns at. My mum would scold me for having no drive. I just want a monthly income and enough time to enjoy my life, not OT till wee nights. I would love to do a remote job, if conditions are right. I may also relook at whether I want to take paycut to take on a more relaxed job.
Anyway, enough ranting. I feel like I'm over divulging how useless I am😔