Year of the Dragon - believing things will be better

Happy Lunar New Year!

How has everyone spent their lunar new year? 

On the first day of LNY, I woke up early to catch the sunrise, soaked in the sunlight and prayed for a good year. This LNY has been rather peaceful for me, as with the past few years - I was done with visiting on the first day, works well for my introverted personality. I confess I'm not an approachable aunt - I don't actively reach out to the younger relatives - I have no clue what to say; small talks are just not for me.

So far, the start of the dragon year has got me checking off a few superstitious acts, just to make myself feel better for the new year. As I mentioned in my previous blog posts, my job is getting shaky again. I have no clue if my role will be affected, neither do I have inertia to find a new role; there's too many companies that I feel uneasy heading to. 

Next, I thought I'd be celebrating the new year with a pregnancy. Alas, my fifth ivf transfer failed. It's draining my energy and money. I am really trying hard to be positive. In this latest transfer, I did whatever I could. Countless blood tests, surgery, drips, injections, all to prepare for a positive result. Doctors said ivf is a matter of luck - as long as you keep doing it, you will succeed. The issue is - who has the money to keep trying? I was hoping for Budget 2024 to announce good news to aid me on this journey, but nope. 

I haven't achieved much since 2019. 2018 was my best year - I was promoted, I got married, I changed my job. Thereafter, my job didn't reward me well for the efforts I put in, covid hit, I changed a job, met lousy bosses, left my job but thankfully landed a new role immediately. It didn't help that my investments were hit pretty badly - lost money in crypto and made huge paper losses in HK/CN stocks - bringing me a few steps backwards in my financial journey. If not for these losses, I would likely have $1m networth today, not $819k. 

That said, I remain grateful that I am healthy and have the means to do what I want like spending close to 6 digits on fertility treatments and carving money out for holidays. Therefore, continuous employment is critical - I need the income. 

Back to the superstitious stuff I did. I've been to a few temples since LNY. Just today, I went to bugis temple - usually I'd just pray, but this time, I drew lots. Unfortunately, my lots on both work and fertility were not positive. I burnt them as I left. 

As I scroll through tiktok, people say we should manifest what we want. I hope I can and I shall believe things will be better this year.

I will also continue accumulating good karma by doing kind acts to everyone, and continuing charity. 

May I stay well and share good news by the end of the year. May the gods, and higher beings guide me through these.

😊