Skip to main content

There's no need to conform to norms

I probably come across as a frugal lady from my previous posts. I don't spend incessantly, don't crave for much, nor chase for the latest fashion or makeup.

But, I've my shares of impulse purchases. And this purchase which I'm taking about, makes me regret every time I think about/sees it. And, it's not even my money.

My engagement ring

I don't think I've shared this story before, but my partner was kinda pressurized to get a diamond ring for me.

On the spot.

I guess I was feeling frustrated of his inaction, and his NATO style. He is so lepak that if I hadn't got him to pay for the ring, I'm probably still not engaged. (On a side note, there's no point being proposed to early, because we have no plans for marriage yet.) I'll not dwell too much on this but to cut the story short, I chose my diamond ring at a warehouse sale.

Yes, I suck. Just because it was a warehouse sale from a reputable jewellery store (think 50%* off signs plastered around), I assumed that we're paying a cheap price for a decent diamond. It was a 0.4 carat diamond ring, GIA certified with excellent gradings for the 4Cs and D colour at a price I shall not disclose. But, it is def less than $4k.

My bf seeing how excited I was, and also thinking that it was a good deal, paid for it.

So, why did I regret this purchase?

1. I should have waited for my partner to do the work

I regret making the decision to buy my own ring because I was afraid that he'll spend too much on an ugly ring. I probably will get judged by you guys for not trusting him in his taste and his money sense :( but it's true. I hate it when he doesn't make his money worth. I told him to do a proposal with a fake ring, and we can then source for a ring together.

If I hadn't brought him to the warehouse, he could have done the research on his own. He'll probably put in more efforts to do the proposal.

But, because of my action, my partner hastily proposed. There was no element of surprise as much as I tried to figure out when he'll propose after he collected the rings himself. Every time we went out, I'd be guessing if he's gonna propose. Please don't judge. Our brains just give us these weird thinkings from all the stories we've read, and videos we've watched.

2. Carats matter. Yes, the size!

I know a lot of guys out there know much more about diamonds than I do. I honestly haven't done much research, and the only research I did was AFTER purchasing the diamonds, checking whether the purchase was worth it or not. Too late. You'll be talking about the depth, the width and what's not and telling others that it doesn't matter even if the 4Cs are excellent.

I agree. But, superficial people doesn't care about how "excellent" your diamond is. All they exclaimed at is the size because, all diamonds sparkle under light. It's just a matter of how bright they sparkle, and who cares or who knows how "excellent" the diamond is, unless you bring out a top-graded diamond to compare?

People tells me that my ring is not big (enough). When colleagues come over to gossip, they'd talk about how BIG the other colleague's new engagement ring is. And I'll sit there, thinking at how superficial they are and looked at my ring. "My diamond very small meh?"

As people my age starts getting proposed to, with the same tool (diamond ring), people starts comparing who diamond is bigger.

It was then that I realised, if the aim is to show off, I should have gotten a bigger carat at the warehouse sale at the same price! Who could tell the difference?

3. There's no need for a diamond ring

Societal norms tell you that girls need to be proposed to with that shiny rock. Societal norms tell guys that you better find a diamond ring for your girl, before you bend on your knees (anyway, who say must bend knees leh? Drama shows lor!)

This is where societal norm made me cave in. This is where fairytales and romantic proposals stories set me up. I just wanted a diamond ring to show off! I wanted to be part of "everyone". I wanted to go "HEY! I ALSO HAVE A DIAMOND RING NOW!"

But, who says I need a diamond on my fourth finger to say that I'm engaged?

I could have gotten a coloured stone with sterling silver at less than $100. Best is to get a big coloured stone and hear people gushing and guessing how expensive it was. Moreover, it's unique and cheaper! (Ya, I love it when I tell people how much I paid for something and they go :O OMG, SO CHEAP - #bargainhunter)

It makes me mad at myself for my stupidity. Why did I waste my partner's money on a piece of rock?

Just because I wanted to be part of the trend. 

The probably never-dying trend. Just because I want to tell others that my status has now changed. Somebody wants me! I kid.

If you don't believe in following societal norms and keeping up with expectations, there's no need for that shiny rock.


Before you start wagging at me, keep calm. I've shared the above thoughts with my partner. Yes, including the part where I told him I regretted asking him to buy the ring. I also told him frankly that I felt he didn't put much efforts into the proposal. Well, to his defense, he did travel all the way to one part of the island to collect flowers.

After the proposal, things went back to normal. I know people would usually plan for weddings and etc. But since we've no house to our names, and like I said, my partner is NATO and I don't feel the need to stress myself now, we're doing nothing. Meanwhile, I am accumulating my savings for future bombs.

Now, should I get wedding bands?


  1. Yes, to most people, first thing they asked is how big is your carat size..
    But diamond actually have a lot more factors to look into aka The 4C..

    I bought my proposal ring from Jann Paul, which I feel is very value for money comparing to all other branded jewellery shops (Being a value investor myself.. LOL). Their sales person are not pushy which is a very plus point..

    They do sell wedding bands too, you can go and take a look and in the meanwhile if you would like to learn more about diamond, you can ask them too - its FOC (But be prepare their 1-1 diamond lesson will take around 1 hour).. So make sure you have around 2 hrs to spare before you make the trip down..

    PS: If you found any good wedding band shop, please intro to me as I haven't bought mine. But most likely I will stick back to Jann Paul for the wedding band..

    1. Hi, I read a lot about Jann Paul. Actually, since their customer service is so good, you can buy your wedding bands from them la haha. Good that you got your proposal rings already, but I still feel diamonds are a waste of money. So sad that I only figured it out now and wanted my bf to get me diamond just to show he cares. Now I feel stupid.


    Here's an article which sums up the worthlessness of diamonds :)

    1. SAD!!!! Diamonds are a depreciating item, the moment you stepped out of the jewelry shops! :(

  3. Hi Cherry,

    I like to recommend Poh Kim. You can read about my experience here.

    1. Hi, too late. Already gotten my engagement ring. I'll consider if I intend to get wedding bands ;)

  4. It makes me mad at myself for my stupidity. Why did I waste my partner's money on a piece of rock? cheap wedding rings


Post a Comment

No rude messages please. Unkind messages and spams will be blocked and deleted.

Popular posts from this blog

I finally cross $700k networth, after 1 year 4 months

I wondered how I should kickstart this post - should I be positive or negative about this? After 1 year 4 months, I finally crossed $700k in networth - returning back to where I've been at, back in Dec 2021.  I am disappointed.  For the past many years, I've always been growing my networth, at around $100-$150k/year. I had big plans to hit a net worth of $850k by December 2022, but the universe had other plans for me. Instead, I only managed to reach $646k, leaving me with a $204k gap to my target.  Ever since I became more aggressive in my "investment" portfolio in 2021, being sucked by greed to deploy most of my cash into stocks and crypto, I fell heavily, along with the crashes. Crypto wiped out 5 digits savings, so did the stock market.  To be honest, ever since the crashes and a bad hit to my net worth, I actually didn't do anything special to improve. I didn't make drastic spending cuts, I didn't stop my holidays, I didn't continue investing (no

What the luck? DBS and OCBC banking tokens died!

What luck. My ibanking tokens went dead one after another. OCBC Token First was my OCBC token. It said "low battery", but I ignored it. And when I finally need to use it, it was dead. Granted that I could use SMS OTP, I had to make a big transfer to other banks and it was over the withdrawal limits. And to do that, I needed the ibanking token. And serve me right for not activating the onetoken. In the end, I had to call in to OCBC call centre for a replacement. 7 working days, they said. What a long wait. In the midst of it, I needed to make my interbank transfers. I even went down to OCBC bank and explored a stupid manual way i.e to withdraw cash and deposit into the other bank. But the moment they told me they ran out of big notes, I got scared. While waiting for the token to arrive, I figured I could actually do transfers in smaller amounts, but had to bear with a daily cap. Sigh. And, one week later, my OCBC token arrived. How efficient. DBS token

Extremely bad start with UOB One

With the influx of posts on social media re UOB One (psst on grabpay) and the receipt of my house keys, I decided it was the time to sign up for a UOB One account plus credit card. It was gonna be the best tool for household joint expenses and joint savings. However, I've faced multiple hiccups that made me VERY frustrated....WHY ME?! 1. Delayed approving process led to losing out of sign up bonus First, I signed up for the UOB One card and Account in early Oct through Singsaver's promotion. The promotion said that I'd get to enjoy cash incentive for registration + UOB's promotion of $80 cash credit with min $1k spent within 30 days of card approval. Mind you, t hese terms were stated to end on 31 Oct , extracted below: S$80 Cash Credit for  UOB  One Account:  Limited to the first 500 new to  UOB  Deposits customers who either (i) deposit and maintain $5,000 or (ii) credit their salary, into their new  UOB  account for 6 consecutive months. Terms and conditio