For the first 20 odd years of my life, I've walked a predictable route.
I was drilled from young that, to succeed in life, I must study hard. I didn't study hard enough to get scholarships but it was passable. I walked the standard educational route, just like everyone else - passed my PSLE, passed my O Levels, went to JC and went to the local uni.
The next was to find a job, get a flat, get married.
And have a baby.
But in this common route, there is something unpredictable and out of my control i.e having a baby (and possibly getting a successful BTO ballot, though we can always go the resale route).
If you realise, in the left column of my blog lies some goals I set back in 2016. Of which, having a kid was set at 30....because I was guessing it would not be easy to hit the jackpot after hearing stories from others.
Ever since I got married, I've received irritating comments from colleagues who are not close to begin with, asking me when I'll be taking my maternity leave. I was asked if I was actively trying, or am I preventing it. Is that even your business?
My parents had not raised a single question about childbearing (yet), and I assume they are respectful that such things take time, and really, luck.
His mum did hint though, asking us to 早生贵子. But so far, nothing irritating yet. Honestly, these 4 words are what I dread the most during wedding, so much so that I removed it from the emcee wedding scripts. I don't need to be reminded of that. Nor be valued as a childbearing machine the moment I got married.
My hubby has been really sweet while I've been stressing myself for the first few months. "Take it easy. It means I can spend more alone time with you", he said.
Yes, I want kids. But no, please don't ask when I'll have them.
Do you know when you will die? Then pls, don't ask me the question that I've no answer for.
Thank you.
I was drilled from young that, to succeed in life, I must study hard. I didn't study hard enough to get scholarships but it was passable. I walked the standard educational route, just like everyone else - passed my PSLE, passed my O Levels, went to JC and went to the local uni.
The next was to find a job, get a flat, get married.
And have a baby.
But in this common route, there is something unpredictable and out of my control i.e having a baby (and possibly getting a successful BTO ballot, though we can always go the resale route).
If you realise, in the left column of my blog lies some goals I set back in 2016. Of which, having a kid was set at 30....because I was guessing it would not be easy to hit the jackpot after hearing stories from others.
Ever since I got married, I've received irritating comments from colleagues who are not close to begin with, asking me when I'll be taking my maternity leave. I was asked if I was actively trying, or am I preventing it. Is that even your business?
My parents had not raised a single question about childbearing (yet), and I assume they are respectful that such things take time, and really, luck.
His mum did hint though, asking us to 早生贵子. But so far, nothing irritating yet. Honestly, these 4 words are what I dread the most during wedding, so much so that I removed it from the emcee wedding scripts. I don't need to be reminded of that. Nor be valued as a childbearing machine the moment I got married.
My hubby has been really sweet while I've been stressing myself for the first few months. "Take it easy. It means I can spend more alone time with you", he said.
Yes, I want kids. But no, please don't ask when I'll have them.
Do you know when you will die? Then pls, don't ask me the question that I've no answer for.
Thank you.
Hi, I understand the feeling you are going through and it can be frustrating and disappointing even if they never asked. I believe the key is not to be stressful. You can probably search for social groups who experience the same situation. It will help.
ReplyDelete早生贵子，多生几个猪宝宝。
ReplyDeleteFrankly speaking, you dont have to feel stress about this. It's your body and your life. If you are ready, you are ready. Having a kid because of pressures from other people is the silliest thing ever.
ReplyDelete