I'm thinking of leaving my first job

I'm thinking of leaving my first job.

Looking back, it was a struggle finding my first job. While peers started getting job offers and accepting them one by one, I was still attending interviews waiting for that one offer. 

I only started my job 4 months after my graduation. That also meant I earned 4 months less salaries than some in my life 😛

I still remember my parents worrying if I'd secure a job. I could see it from their faces. I remember feeling disappointed with myself because I wanted to earn my own keep and start giving them allowances. I also remembered that arsehole cousin who said that my degree is worthless which was why I couldn't find a job (but it's ok. I'm probably earning more than her right now).

Somehow, there was this fear that the longer you stay unemployed, the more difficult it is to find a job. But, come to think of it, was that 4 months of unemployment to compensate for the lack of it in the future? After all, now that I've started work, where else could I get that 4 months break? Unless I fire my boss, take no pay leave (both of which I wouldn't want to because I am not born with a silver spoon), or go on paid maternity leave ;)

Anyway, back to my job. Amongst my peers, I'm the only one who have yet to change a job. Isn't it shocking that some of my peers have already been in their 4th or 5th job since graduation? I wouldn't say my job has been smooth sailing. I have the thoughts of quitting every single year but I always held back because I was aiming for promotion. 

Now that I've got it, I feel it is time to move.

But, like this article says, there's this sense of guilt. I've literally grew up there - from a young fresh girl, to a wilted flower now, I really gave my youth to my first job. There's this guilt that my bosses invested in me and are grooming me, and yet, I'm not reciprocating by staying. There's also the worry that I wont be able to find colleagues as nice - whenever I feel down, they'd know; when I fell sick, they genuinely cared. Colleagues are nice, but the organisation sucks because of poor leadership. That's another reason why I want to move.

Next, I thought that it would be wise to move to a new organisation while I'm still young. It's easier for me to still ask people for advices because "i'm still young". People are generally more forgiving to someone younger, right? If I wait till I have kids, I may have lesser courage to change jobs. 

Another aspect is looking forward to a higher pay with a new job. At the end of the day, I feel a job is just a means to an end. I need a constant stream of income to pay the bills, own my house, and take occasional holidays with my family. However, a change in job may not necessarily mean gains in finances. For one, I will lose out on my bonuses which forms 25% of my annual salary. Depending on the offer salary, I may also get the same salary next year? 

Well, time to start sending resumes.

Wish me luck!