I'm not actively looking for a job. So when I received a call for an interview, I was puzzled. Turns out, I applied for this position months ago.
I'm in my first job and feels comfortable with what I have now. The first 2 years were tough. High turnover led me to covering the roles of colleagues until we got people in, trained new colleagues who are much older and "experienced" plus expensive, feeling stressed out from the deadlines and non-existent SOPs, feeling angry because of messy instructions from different bosses who sometimes can't make up their minds, knowing that I'm not paid as well as others, having crappy colleagues who create politics, gossips and do not cooperate and the list goes on. There were times when I felt like giving up. But I knew I can't because, as a fresh grad, there's not much places for me to go. I wouldn't hire people who jumps around within 1-2 years, much less do it myself. And so, I shouldered on.
As I got the hang of things, and received stamps of approval from the bosses, things got easier. They have trust and faith in me because I get things done efficiently. I value-add to my team and I take the lead despite working for only 2yrs +. The high turnover and my resilience to stay put put me in good standing because I got good performance results which translated to monetary rewards. I was pleased because my pay increased quite a far bit and I've overtook peers of the same age.
But sometimes, I'll wonder if I should seek pastures on the other side. As a risk averse person, I'm not sure if the pasture would be greener on the other side, given that I'm rather sure my pasture now is rather green. But I'm not sure if I'm learning the right things and my direct boss does not seem to care about my career. I knew I had to take charge of my own career but it brings me down to,
What do I want?
I know my main motivation to work is $. I feel motivated when I receive good monetary rewards not just in terms of bonuses, but also looking forward to a higher paycheck. Over here, I started with a low pay, but managed to overtake some peers because of the recognition given by my bosses.
I want to be recognised and respected. I want people to look up to me and acknowledge that I'm an expert in my area of work. I want them to know that I'm good. Over here, not only my bosses, my other colleagues recognise and respect me because I work above and beyond my scope.
I also want to be able to go home on time. I understand that there are many people who have to bring their work home and slog like a cow just to clear finish their work. There was a period of time when I had to do so as I was covering multiple duties. It was so demoralising and I wonder why I'm spending so much time and effort in a low-paid job. But things got better now and I usually am able to go home on time. I will stay back or reach office early when there are urgent things to be cleared.
I want to learn new things. I feel that there are much more things to learn and wishes to gain more knowledge in other scopes of work. I want to learn in a more structured environment with strong guidance from direct supervisor, but it appears that there are no good place to go. Based on my conversations with people, their ex-companies are equally messy and turnovers are equally high. It seems like there are nowhere else good to go? Over here, we can take charge of our own training needs and my boss is flexible in terms of the courses I want to attend. However, the work procedures here are messy and our bosses sometimes can't make up their minds. They are even more risk averse and exemplifies the Singaporean traits of kiasu and kiasi. Yet, they are very nice to me and they've occasionally spoke to me about my career plans.
I also hope to work in a place free of politics. The previous team was crappy and I felt no sense of belonging. They mix in cliques and do not cooperate well with each other. They spread rumours and fight to win the bosses' heart. It only got better when the new team came in. The new team treats each other with respect and we work well together. If I leave, this is something I'll miss should the next team be made up of unkind and political people which are aplenty.
Back to the interview. I'm not sure if I should try going for it. Should I see how I fare and what I'm worth? I've heard that the place has high turnover, which is why they're eagerly recruiting now. But I've also heard that their remuneration package could be more attractive.
I just can't make up my mind.