But even before the planning starts, I'm already feeling the stress. Budget is one thing, but for me the worst is the support or lack of.
I'm a person with few friends. I've shared this in my previous entry. I texted a friend about my thoughts of getting married next year, but I didn't get a reply. I was bothered by it for 2 days so I texted back. Busy, she says, ttyl. If I was a third party, I'd had said, forget it. But, I can't. I've too few friends.
I turned to my colleagues about my plans. But it just didn't feel right sharing too much. They don't really want to know much either. "Keep quiet", I told myself, "nobody cares about your wedding since it's yours to begin with".
I turned to my parents. "Up to you lor", "ask the groom's side", "you need to hire a nanny when you give birth" (hinting that they wouldn't want to take care of my baby), "do a simple wedding", "decide on your own".
I really want a simple wedding. Many of us do. But when you think about the number of people you are obliged or "forced" to invite, things will never be simple. I wouldn't mind a simple ROM, but I'd still need support from family and friends.
At last, I turned to my partner. "I'm busy with work", "discuss soon", when is soon I asked. "Weekend". I've been the one sending emails checking for quotes, trawling the web to read reviews and contents from bride-to-bes. But as I read the articles for inspiration, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, the go-getter in me wants to settle some of the simple steps quickly. On the other hand, I'm stopping myself from my "enthusiasm" because it seems like I'm more eager than my partner.
Perhaps it's not the right timing. Perhaps, the house should come first. Or perhaps, I should reflect on myself and my life.